It is introduction myself. I will send this senten

It is introduction myself.
I will send this sentence for my English teacher.
Is it correct sentence?



I will start myself introduction.My name is Minori. There are 4 people in my family:my father my mother,my brother,and I.I live with my parents. I am, if anything, an easygoing person.
Noodles are my favorite food,especially,Pasta and Udon.
Noodles are delicias. Not only that,Noodles are easy to cook.So,I have noodles for lunch everyday.
I like watching movie.I especially like comedy and fantasy and thriller movie above all the others.My favorite movie is “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”.It was such an exciting movie that I have seen this movie many times.Chocolates comes out in that movie.
It makes me want to eat chocolate when I see this.So, I usually watch the movie while eating
chocolates.Then I feel like the chocolate are more delicious than usual.Why I like watching movie is not only I want to enjoy the stories but also I want to enjoy seeing the city landscapes and buildings of movie.Watching foreign movie makes me feel like I am traveling in overseas.
That is enjoyable for me.In particular, The cityscape in the movie “Midnight in paris” is very beautiful.

I want to work at a food company the near future.I love eating.Eating makes me happy.So I want to make people happy with food was made the company I work.

I am not good at English. But I love English.I want to be able to speak English well.I will do my best so I appreciate your support.

Thank you for reading this to the end.

No.1 ベストアンサー 回答者： Quokka 回答日時： 2020/05/20 23:14

添削をご希望のようですが、英語の先生に送るものなら、

質問者さんの英作文の癖、なにをまちがえているか、
実力を知ってもらうために、そのまま送るのがいいと思います。
まちがいなどを見ることによって、
先生はこれからどう指導していくかを決めると思うからです。

少しだけ、指摘をしておきます。
自己紹介をするという最初のセンテンスですが、
これはふつう動詞を使います。
First of all, I'd like to introduce myself. とか
Let me introduce myself.

I like watching movie.
これはmovies と複数形に。

全体の構成ですが、家族の話のあとに、
いきなり食べ物の話が出てくるのは唐突です。
映画の話の後、そこでチョコレートの話が出ているのだから、
食べ物つながりで、noodleの話にもっていき、
そこからさらに食品関係の仕事の話をするほうが、
流れが自然になると思います。

この回答へのお礼

たしかにそうですね！流れの構成も変えてみます！ありがとうございました！

お礼日時：2020/05/22 01:40