大学院 英作文添削

問題の添削お願いします。

「以下の内容を伝えるyang博士宛の電子メールを書け。
・９月１６日から９月１９日までハワイコンベンションセンター(Hawaii Convention Center)で開かれる国際会議に出席する予定である。
・そこで９月２０日の午後にハワイ大学のYang博士を直接訪問し、新しい海洋観測計画について打ち合わせしたい。
・打ち合わせでは、海洋観測の場所と時期を決定したい
・打ち合わせの後は、一緒に夕食をとりたり
・ハワイ大学まではバスで行くつもりだが、バス停からオフィスまでの道順を知りたい。
・この訪問についてのyang博士の都合を今日の夕方までに確かめたい。

答え
Dear Dr yang.How are you?
I am writing to you regarding the international conference that will take place from september
16th to september 20th.
Thats why I would like to meet to discuss you about new hydrographic survey project at the
university of Hawaii on september 20th.
In discussion,I would like to decide where to
monitor and when to monitor.
After discussion,I want to eat dinner with you.

I will visit your office by bus,but I don´t know
how to go
Please teach me how to go from bus stop to your office.
And Please let me know when would be good time
for you until this evening.
Im looking forward to hearing from you soon.

電子メールの書き方について↓を参考にしました。
http://allabout.co.jp/study/bizenglish/closeup/C …

No.3 ベストアンサー 回答者： mabomk 回答日時： 2007/05/22 15:55

二番です。

私自身の分に誤り有り、及び、少しばかり「修正」を加えたモノを提出します。[ ]は修正箇所です。

Dear Dr. Yang

[I am pleased to inform you] [I am planning to visit you] on
the occasion of the international conference scheduled on
16th to 20th September, where I like to have some discussion
about hydrographic survey project.

I would like the meeting at the University of Hawaii on September
20th. Please let me know the convenient time for my visit and meeting.
We like to discuss and decide the time schedule and place of the monitoring
[work] [under the project]. After the discussion, I would like to have
dinner with you.

I know I can reach your office by bus. But, I do have [few] information how to
reach your office from the bus stop on foot. Would you please kindly lead me
the way from the bus stop to [your] office, if possible, by small map or else.

I appreciate it if you could give us your reply within my
office hours today.

Thanking you,

No.2 回答者： mabomk 回答日時： 2007/05/22 13:33

Dear Dr. Yang

Hope this will find you in good health. Today I am writing you
regarding my meeting with you taking the occasion of the
international conference scheduled on 16th to 20th
September, where I like to have some discussion about
hydrographic survey project.

I would like the meeting at the University of Hawaii on
September 20th. Please let me know the convenient time for
my visit and meeting. We like to discuss and decide the time
schedule and place of the monitoring. After the discussion,
I would like to have dinner with you.

I know I can reach your office by bus. But, I do have less
information how to reach your office from the bus stop on
foot. Would you please kindly lead me the way from the bus
stop to our office, if possible, by small map or else.

I appreciate it if you could give us your reply within my
office hours today.

Thanking you,


急いで書いたので、内容がも一つすっきりしていない(ダラダラ感が残っている!!)。でも、もしも参考になる箇所が有れば持って帰って下さい。

この回答へのお礼

ありがとうございました！！

お礼日時：2007/05/25 11:02

No.1 回答者： Jhelom 回答日時： 2007/05/22 13:26

推敲してませんがこんな感じでどうでしょうか。

。。。

Dear Dr Yang.
I would inform you that I will attend international conference that will be held at Hawaii Convention Center on Sep 16 to 19.
I would propose you to have a meeting with me on Sep 20 pm at Hawaii University to discuss new ocean monitor project. I hope we can conclude the location and timing of this monitoring. And It also more than happy if you can have time to take dinner with me after the meeting. I am sorry to rush you but if you could let me confirm this meeting offering by this evening, it would be very appreciated. And if you could accept this meeting I also would like have your guide information from the nearest bus stop to your office.

この回答へのお礼

ありがとうございました！！

お礼日時：2007/05/25 11:02