この英文で大きな間違いがあればご指導下さい

I was completely attracted by the spectacular landscapes this time.
Please look at this photo which I was able to walk on the magnificent ice field.
Unbelievably I experienced ice age even in summer. It was amazing!
But these ice field melts faster due to the global warming year by year.
Hurry up or you will miss it.

No.1 ベストアンサー 回答者： cbm51901 回答日時： 2012/05/22 19:40

よく書かれています。

意味は完璧に伝わるでしょう。
ただ一点だけ、手直しした方がよいなと思ったところがありました。
photo の後にピリオドを打ってください。また、( 　) 内の which は不要です。

I was completely attracted by the spectacular landscapes this time.
Please look at this photo. (which) I was able to walk on the magnificent ice field.
Unbelievably I experienced ice age even in summer. It was amazing!
But these ice field melts faster due to the global warming year by year.
Hurry up or you will miss it.

この回答へのお礼

ありがとうございました。
助かりました。感謝申し上げます。ご好意に甘えて次の英文もチェック下さると嬉しいです。
Banff is surrounded by huge Rocky Mountains where has many splendid lakes.
They are gradually turned into emerald color in a day. Can you imagine?
And local people who wore traditional costume marched around the beautiful town until sunset.This is a photo.
Although I went to Canada 3 times so far, this time was the best I’ve ever had.
英文がなかなか書けなくていつも苦労しています。
関係代名詞を使うとこなれた感じになるのですが、
前回のご指摘を踏まえて省略したつもりです。
宜しくお願い致します。

お礼日時：2012/05/22 21:10