英作文添削お願いします。 題:What is one Japanese custom that yo

英作文添削お願いします。
題:What is one Japanese custom that you would like people in other countries to adapt? Perscribe the custom and them explain how people in other countries would benefit from the adoption of this custom. If you use Romanized Japanese words,you must explain them in English.

What I would like people in other countries to adapt is to use “itadakimasu”and”gochisousama “.These words often use before and after eating with putting our hands together.These words explain our thankful feelings toward crops and creatures like fish and livestocks that we eat every day to survive.In addition we can appreciate people who take part in growing,carrying, and making foods by using these words.It is true that there are plenty of foods around us, but there are a lot of people who suffer from starvation and lacking of foods around the world. They are always hungry and looking forward to eating foods.They will thank for foods much more than us.We should not take it for granted.If you use these words ,you will realize the value of foods as well as blessed environment.As a result,you will treasure foods and nature.

No.3 回答者： larme001 回答日時： 2019/02/12 21:01

These words often use before and after eating with putting our hands together.

これだと、ちょっと意味が分かりません。
>Before and after eating, we say these words while putting our hands together.

These words explain our thankful feelings toward crops and creatures like fish and livestocks that we eat every day to survive.
>
explainよりもshowsとかexpressesのほうがいいでしょう。
to survive よりもfor livingとかのほうが自然かな？

＞and making foods by using these words
usingよりもby sayingのほうがいいでしょう。

>It is true that there are plenty of foods around us, but there are a lot of people who suffer from starvation and lacking of foods around the world.

It is true that there IS plenty of food around us, but there are a lot of people who suffer from starvation and the world is lacking in food.
食べ物という一般概念なので不可数のほうがいい。 lacking 以降の構文はa lot of people と並列な関係の文章では不自然です。

＞They are always hungry and looking forward to eating foods.
They が誰かわかりにくいので一般論ならPeople

＞They will thank for foods much more than us.
they とusの違いが判りません。

＞If you use these words ,you will realize the value of foods as well as blessed environment
By saying "itadakimasu" or " gochisosama", we realizes the value of food and our blessed environment.

No.2 回答者： スチールウール 回答日時： 2019/02/12 19:03

use the words, "itadakimasu" and "goshisousama".

誰向けなのかにも寄りますが、言葉であることを強調しておいたほうが良いかと

These words often use~.
are used

出題内容からするとyou = 外国人で良いのでしょうか？
要約すると
いただきます、ごちそうさまは食材やそれに関わる人々への感謝を伝える言葉である
外国には食糧難で苦しんでいる人がおり、彼らは食事に関して私達よりも感謝している
それを当然と思ってはいけない（？）
これらの言葉を使えば、食事の価値について認識し、食事や自然をより楽しめるだろう

お題は「外国人に真似してもらいたい文化を挙げ、その文化が彼らにどう利点があるのかを述べよ」のハズなのに、最後あたりは日本人向けになってません？
食糧難を上げるのではなく、外食文化（造り手への感謝を示さない）や食料破棄について述べるべきでしょう

電車を待つ際(だけでなく、オンラインゲームで稼ぎ場待ちなどでも)に列を作る。とかの方が語りやすい気はしますけどね

No.1 回答者： ShowMeHow 回答日時： 2019/02/12 09:05

They will thank for foods 　未来形で良いのでしょうか？

If you use 主語は読者であるべきでしょうか？