留学ビザの英文エッセイの添削依頼

娘の留学のビザを取得するため、親の英文のエッセイが必要です。
以下、翻訳サイトを使用してみましたが、今一つなので、添削をおねがいします。
英語が苦手なためご協力をお願いします。
急いでます。

＜日本語＞
娘は小学生の時から「私は外国で働きたい」と希望している。
彼女は高校生になり、国際機関で働くという夢が叶うよう努力しています。
私たちは、彼女の夢が叶うよう、応援しています。
オーストラリアは色々な国の外国人が数多く生活している。外国人に対し、広く門戸を開けている印象があります。
彼女が、オーストラリアに留学することで、多くの異文化、多くの価値観を学び、コミュニケーション能力、リーダーシップを身につけ、成長して欲しい。
今回の留学が、将来、彼女が夢を叶える助けになることを願っています。そして、国際社会に役立つ人になることを願っています。

＜英訳＞
My daughter is hoping "I'd like to work at a foreign country." from schoolchild's time.
It'll be a high school student and she's making an effort so that the dream which works for an international organization may come true.
We're supporting so that her dream may come true.

Various national foreigners are often living in Australia. There is an impression which opens a door widely to a foreigner.

She learns many different cultures and many values by going to Australia, puts on communication ability and leadership and wants you to grow.

This studying abroad is wishing that she'll be the help to grant a dream in the future. And it's being hoped to become the person useful for an international society.


以上、よろしくお願いします。

No.1 回答者： Wungongchan 回答日時： 2016/10/26 02:44

以下参考にして下さい。

My daughter is hoping "I'd like to work at a foreign country." from schoolchild's time.
→ My daughter's hope has been to work overseas ever since she was a school child.

It'll be a high school student and she's making an effort so that the dream which works for an international organization may come true.
→ Now a high school student, she is endeavoring to make her dream come true, that is to work for an international organization.

We're supporting so that her dream may come true.
→ We support her to achieve her goal.

Various national foreigners are often living in Australia. There is an impression which opens a door widely to a foreigner.
→ There are many foreigners living Australia. We believe the door is wide open for people from other countries.

She learns many different cultures and many values by going to Australia, puts on communication ability and leadership and wants you to grow.
→ We hope that she will learn other cultures and values, develop communication ability and leadership, and grow big during her study in Australia.

This studying abroad is wishing that she'll be the help to grant a dream in the future. And it's being hoped to become the person useful for an international society.
→ It is our hope that her study in Australia will help her get closer to her dream and that she will be able to contribute to the international community in the future.