文法ミスチェックしてください

My major is Business and I like playing soccer and watching World Cup now.
My English skill is still the process of learning. My goal is studying English in the USA, and getting a god job in Japan after going back to Japan.
I have been learning English since I went to America. It is difficult for me to learning new language because Japanese and English have a totally different grammar. For example, English usually indicates "subject" the first of sentences, on the other hand, Japanese indicates "subject" the end of sentences. Likewise, there are many small differences, so I often confuse them. In my opinion, American are usually individualism, so they do not care about other people, so it is difficult for me to get used to American life without speaking English.
However, I like studying new language because I can understand more about people. I will keep studying English forever, even after I am going back to Japan. I am really excited about this class.

No.1 回答者： Erdbeerkegels 回答日時： 2014/06/16 21:06

５行目 to learning→to learn

６行目 new language → a new language

９行目 I often confuse them → I am often confused by them

１１行目 American →Americans individualism→individualistic

No.2 ベストアンサー 回答者： Nakay702 回答日時： 2014/06/17 11:33

以下のとおりお答えします。

質問者様の原文・カッコ内に説明・添削文の順に列記します。

My major is Business and I like playing soccer and watching World Cup now.
（「主専攻が経営学」と、次の「英語能力がまだ不十分」という文の間に、サッカーの話題を挟むのは、文脈に合わないので、思い切って省きましょう。）
⇒My major is Business, so I'd like to be good at English.

My English skill is still the process of learning. My goal is studying English in the USA, and getting a god job in Japan after going back to Japan.
（「目標」とするよりは、「計画」がいいでしょう。目標はその後で考えるべきことでしょうから。）
⇒But my English skill is still too poor to make good use of it. Therefore I'm planning on studying English in USA, and, if possible, on getting a god job after comming back here to Japan.

I have been learning English since I went to America. It is difficult for me to learning new language because Japanese and English have a totally different grammar.
（"new language"というと、英語ではない別の言語を想像されかねません。また、「（英語を修得することがむずかしいことを）知った」とすると、より自然に聞こえます。）
⇒I have been learning English since I visited America a few years ago. Then I found that it was quite difficult for me to acquire it because Japanese and English have a totally different grammar.

For example, English usually indicates "subject" the first of sentences, on the other hand, Japanese indicates "subject" the end of sentences. Likewise, there are many small differences, so I often confuse them.
（「日本語の主語は位置が決まっていない」・「しばしば省略される」のが実際のところでしょう。）
⇒For example, English usually indicates "subject" at the first of sentences; on the other hand, in Japanese it's position is not especially determined, moreover it's often omitted. Like this way, there are many other small differences between both the languages, so I often confuse them.

In my opinion, American are usually individualism, so they do not care about other people, so it is difficult for me to get used to American life without speaking English.
（だいたいこれでいいと思いますが、soの連用は避けましょう。）
⇒In my opinion, the Americans are usually individualistic and they don't care about other people, so it is difficult for me to get used to American life without speaking English.

However, I like studying new language because I can understand more about people. I will keep studying English forever, even after I am going back to Japan. I am really excited about this class.
（「日本に戻って来てからも」というより、「外国にいる時だけでなく日本にいる時でも」のほうがいいでしょう。また、最後の文は、おそらく担当教師への伝言だと思いますので、改行するといいでしょう。）
⇒For all that, I like studying this language of wide applications because I want to communicate with the Americans and with the people of all over the world. I will keep studying English forever, even when I am not abroad but here in Japan.
At the last of this report, I'd like to thank you for this really exciting class.

以上、ご回答まで。