英語日記２６(3) 特別編

えいご日記２６が長すぎたので少し分割して投稿させていただきます！！
みなさん回答お願いいたしまーす。

すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。
レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると幸いです。　ものすごく長くなって申し訳ございません。もし時間があるならお願いいたします。


I was not able to take part in the game to the second grade of high-school after all. However.
It was surprised me I could take the last game at high school days because one player was injured
. I took as a forward. I felt nervous because I had never taken the game and I couldn’t believe I could play soccer such a important game!!
I just played it lest I regret. And I could get a goal when almost end of the game!! I couldn’t believe it because I thought that I couldn’t take a game, needless to say, get a goal ,but I did. I realizes then. the good thing absolutely occur if you not give up. This experience tell me about Importance of continuation.




↓(1)(2)です気にしないでください
私はやってることがうまく行くまであきらめません。 私は一つのことを続けることがきらいではありません。ゴールに向かって努力を続けることができます。
この話は私が高校生の時で私はさっかー部でしたがそこにはたくさんの上手な選手がいました。なぜなら私の高校はさっかーで有名でした。実際私は高校からサッカーを始めました。なぜなら中学まで野球をしていたからです。もちろん最小はうまくできませんでした。なので高校１年生の時は常にボール拾いでした。また監督は私の名前さえ知りませんでしたなぜならへたくそだからです。この経験はサッカーに限りません。監督は常に努力を続ける人が好きだといってました。しかしこれはじじつではありません。

私はチームで一番練習しました。けど監督は私を試合につかいませんでした。なぜなら私よりうまい選手がいるからです。何度もやめたいと思ったことはありました。けどもし、さっかーを辞めると、多分私はいつも何かすぐに辞めてしまうと思います。もしなにかトラブルに会うと。とにかく私はサッカーを辞めずに練習を続けました。もしかしたら１０ごろまで練習してました。だから勉強はできませんでした。けど私の人生で一番幸せでした。友達もたくさん作りました。

↓ここからです
２年生も結局試合に出れませんでした。けど驚くことに高校時代最後に試合にFWとして出るができました。なぜなら一人の選手がけがをしたからです。私はすごく緊張しました。私は今まで試合に出たことがありません。まさかこんな大事なしあいにでられるなんてしんじられなかった。
ただ後悔しないように試合しました。そして試合も終わりのころにゴールできました。まさか点数を取れるなんて思ってないので信じられなかったです。その時気がつきました。きっと良い事は起こりますもしあきらめなかったら。この経験は続けることの大切さを教えてくれました。

No.3 ベストアンサー 回答者： cbm51910 回答日時： 2011/07/15 11:11

26(1)、26(2)、26(3) をまとめてみました。

I will never give up half way, without achieving the set goal. I don't mind toiling for a long time as long as I can reach my aim.
This is what I experienced when I was a high school student.
My high school was well known for being strong in soccer, so when I joined the soccer team, there were many good players. Actually I started to play soccer from high school. Before that until junior high school, I had played baseball. Naturally, I couldn't play very well at the beginning, so I was always picking up soccer balls for the other players during my first grade at high school. I was such a bad player that during my first year, the manager of the soccer team didn't even bother to remember my name!
I know this is a kind of experience limited not just to soccer.

The manager had always said that he respected those who always kept making an effort, and that he didn't care whether the player was good or not. However this was not the case! I practiced the most in my team but he didn't select me for the matches. This was because there were many players who were better than me. I thought of giving up soccer often, but if I gave it up, I knew it would become a habit and I would always give up something when faced with difficulties. Anyway I didn't give up soccer and I kept practicing hard, always cominng home late, may be at 10 p.m. So I couldn’t study very much but I think that was the happiest time in my life. I made a lot of friends as well.

I could not play in any of the matches in the second grade in high school after all. However, unexpectedly, I was able to play in the last match in my third grade in high school because one of the players was injured. I took the forward position as a replacement. I was nervous because I had never played in a match and it was hard to believe that I could play soccer in such an important game! I just played so as not to leave any regrets.
And I scored a goal almost near the end of the match! I couldn't believe it because to start with, I didn't think I was going to be able to participate in the match, let alone score a goal. But I really did.
I realized then, that good things "will" occur if you don't give up. This experience told me about the importance of perseverance.

奨学金、ダメ元で是非チャレンジしてみて下さい。まだ勉強を再開して三カ月です、何度チャレンジしてもよいでしょう。特にアメリカでは「チャレンジ精神」というものが高く評価されると思います。
英語日記１から始まってよくもここまで到達しました。さすがサッカーでの体験が生きていますね。僕はどちらかと言うと飽きっぽう方なので尊敬致します。
今後とも頑張ってください！

この回答へのお礼

ありがとうございます。エッセーを書かないとだめなんですが。今数学もやってるのでなかなか手が回りません。友達との付き合いもあるので・・・また長いのをかくのでよろしくお願いします。今週と来週は頑張ります

お礼日時：2011/07/16 00:46

No.2 回答者： cbm51910 回答日時： 2011/07/15 10:58

また悪い癖が出て、punctuation （！、，、．など）がゴッチャになっています。

気をつけましょう。

I was not able to take part in the game to the second grade of high-school after all.
[I could not to play in any of the matches in the second grade in high school after all.]
→ "take part in the game" ＝ 「ゲームに参加する」　で良いのですが、公式試合で一度もプレーできなかったという意味で、"play in any of the matches" にしてみました。
→ "to the second grade" × "in the second grade" ○

However. It was surprised me I could take the last game at high school days because one player was injured.
[However, unexpectedly, I was able to play in the last match in my third grade in high school because one of the players was injured.]
→ "unexpectedly," ＝ 「予期しなかったことに」
→ "take the last game" ×　"play in the last match" ○
→ "one player" は "one of the players" とした方が良いです。（チームの中の一人が～）

I took as a forward.
[I took the forward position as a replacement.]
→「私は交代要員としてフォワードのポジションに付きました。」

I felt nervous because I had never taken the game and I couldn’t believe I could play soccer such a important game!!
[I was nervous because I had never played in a match and it was hard to believe that I could play soccer in such an important game!]
→ "I felt nervous" でも良いのですが、"felt" だと緊張感を「感じた」というような響きがあります。"I was nervous" とすると、「緊張した」という心境の表現になります。
→ "taken" × "played in" ○
→ "it was hard to believe" ＝ 「とても信じられない」

I just played it lest I regret.
[I just played so as not to leave any regrets.]
→「後悔を残さないようにただプレーしました。」
→ "so as not to" ＝ 「～しないように」
→ "leave" ＝ 「残す」
→ "regrets" ＝ 「後悔」

And I could get a goal when almost end of the game!!
[And I scored a goal almost near the end of the match!]
→ "score a goal" ＝ 「シュート（ゴール）を決める」

I couldn’t believe it because I thought that I couldn’t take a game, needless to say, get a goal ,but I did.
[I couldn't believe it because to start with, I didn't think I was going to be able to participate in the match, let alone score a goal. But I really did.]
→ "start with" ＝ 「まず、」
→ "I didn't think" ＝ 「～思わなかった」
→ "I was going to be able to" ＝ 「～が出来るとは」
→ "participate in the match" ＝ 「試合に出る」
→ "let alone" ＝ 「ましてや」

I realizes then. the good thing absolutely occur if you not give up.
[I realized then, that good things "will" occur if you don't give up.]
→ 良いことが「起こる」を強調するために、"will" としてあります。

This experience tell me about Importance of continuation.
[This experience told me about the importance of perseverance.]
→ "tell" ×　"told" ○ （過去形）
→ "continuation" ＝ 「持続すること」　"perseverance" ＝ 「根気強く続けること」


I could not play in any of the matches in the second grade in high school after all. However, unexpectedly, I was able to play in the last match in my third grade in high school because one of the players was injured. I took the forward position as a replacement. I was nervous because I had never played in a match and it was hard to believe that I could play soccer in such an important game! I just played so as not to leave any regrets.
And I scored a goal almost near the end of the match! I couldn't believe it because to start with, I didn't think I was going to be able to participate in the match, let alone score a goal. But I really did.
I realized then, that good things "will" occur if you don't give up. This experience told me about the importance of perseverance.

No.1 回答者： wy1 回答日時： 2011/07/13 20:54

質問する場が違います。