以下の英作文を添削してください！ また、おすすめの英語表現などがあれば教えてください。 GoToトラ

以下の英作文を添削してください！
また、おすすめの英語表現などがあれば教えてください。

GoToトラベルキャンペーンについて
I think the idea of a “Go To Travel Campaign” is good as it will help to promote the travel industry, which has been hit hard by COVID-19.
However, it is too early to start this campaign right now.
Although businesses have started to reopen, there are still a lot of infectious cases, not only in Tokyo but also in other cities.
It is risky to rush into introducing this campaign as it will cause the virus to spread all over Japan.
The campaign should be managed in stages, such as applying for travel only in one prefecture or in the nearby area.
I hope that Implementing the “Go To Travel Campaign” won’t bring more problems than benefits.

No.2 ベストアンサー 回答者： multiverse 回答日時： 2020/08/16 08:55

> I think the idea of a “Go To Travel Campaign” is good as it will help to promote the travel industry, which has been hit hard by COVID-19.

I think the _“Go To Travel" campaign is a good idea,_ as it will help (to) promote the travel industry, which has been hit hard by COVID-19.

> However, it is too early to start this campaign right now.

However, it _will be_ too early to start this campaign _(right) now_.

> Although businesses have started to reopen, there are still a lot of infectious cases, not only in Tokyo but also in other cities.

Although businesses have _resumed their operation_, there _still are_ a lot of occurrences of infection not only in Tokyo but also in other _areas_.

> It is risky to rush into introducing this campaign as it will cause the virus to spread all over Japan.

It _will be too risky_ to hastily start_ this campaign _now_, as it _can trigger the spread of the viruses_ all over Japan.

この回答へのお礼

いつも本当にありがとうございます！
そして多くの修正をさせてしまい、申し訳ありません。
こちらの回答を参考に修正させていただきます！！！

お礼日時：2020/08/16 10:26

No.3 回答者： multiverse 回答日時： 2020/08/16 09:16

> The campaign should be managed in stages, such as applying for travel only in one prefecture or in the nearby area.

The campaign should be _promoted_ in stages, _for example, starting from only limited regional travels before spreading all over Japan_.

> I hope that Implementing the “Go To Travel Campaign” won’t bring more problems than benefits.

I hope that _implementing_ the “Go To Travel" campaign won’t bring more problems than benefits.

No.1 回答者： kaitenzusi 回答日時： 2020/08/16 08:34

きれいな英語だと思います。

as it will ... が２回出てくるので，
一方の表現を変えてはいかがでしょう。

in one prefecture は「各県内で」なら
with each prefecture の方が意味がはっきりするでしょうか。

この回答へのお礼

回答ありがとうございます！
是非参考にさせていただきます！！！

お礼日時：2020/08/16 10:20