英文の添削をしてほしいです。

解決済

質問者：こしそらチャンネル
質問日時：2022/07/12 12:07
回答数：2件

不謹慎なんですが、安倍晋三の銃撃事件について自分で英文を書きました。
そこでお願いなんですが、英文の添削をしてほしいです。
ちなみに英文はこちらです。

July 9 Abe Former Prime Minister was killd by Mr.Yamagami
Mr,Yamagami used a gun and he firing two
Mr.Abe was At the time of the first shot not hit and he looked behind
at that time His SP tried to protect him by Iron plate
but second shot is hit and Mr.abe fall down and he Shed a lot of blood and he lost consciousness
People around Get panicked and someone sayd "bring AED!"
Mr.Abe underwent cardiopulmonary resuscitation but his heart not started to move again.
after that he was taken the hospital by helicopter.
he was operation by the hospital doctors and he received a 100L blood transfusion
nevertheless He didn't help.
After a while his wife arrive the hospital flom Tokyo
after that He was confirmed dead by doctor.

すみません。殺されたのは9日ではなく、8日でした。
この場を借りてお詫び申し上げます。

補足日時：2022/07/12 12:32
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回答 (2件)

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No.2ベストアンサー

回答者： akiraTM
回答日時：2022/07/13 11:15

基本的に極力あなたの文章を変えないようにしました。

が、3文目の
Mr. Abe was At the time of~
の部分が分かりにくいため、若干変えています。

注意点：
誤字・脱字。
killd → killed
he firing two → he fired two shots.
sayd → said
flom → from

Mr. などの後ろは1マス開ける。
文の最後にピリオドを打つ。
現在形・過去形の使い方がバラバラなので修正する。
大文字や小文字の使い方がバラバラなので修正する。

On July 8 Shinzo Abe, former Prime Minister, was killed by Suspect Tetsuya Yamagami in Nara city.
He used a homemade gun and fired two shots.
When the first shot was released, it did not hit Mr. Abe and he looked behind, at the same time his security police tried to protect him with the iron plates from the suspect's attack.
However, he was hit by the second shot and fell down, shed a lot of blood and lost consciousness.
The people around him panicked and someone said, "Please bring AED!"
Mr. Abe underwent cardiopulmonary resuscitation but his heart did not start to move again.
After that He was taken to the hospital by an air ambulance.
He was operated by the hospital doctors and received a 100L-blood transfusion.
Nevertheless, he did not survive.
After a while Akie Abe, his wife, arrived at the hospital from Tokyo.
Upon her arrival, his death was confirmed by the doctors.