中2です。 英語の宿題で夏休みの出来事をかくんですけど、ほとんど携帯で調べて書いたから心配で… 間違

中2です。
英語の宿題で夏休みの出来事をかくんですけど、ほとんど携帯で調べて書いたから心配で…

間違ってるや、アドバイスをください！！(>_<)

I went to Kawasaki Lazona with my family.
We watched a movie there.
The movie was very interesting.
I went to a CD store.
I bought a lot of CDs.
I bought too much and my money has gone down.
I am very sad.
But it was fun.
It was good that I could make memories.
I want to go there once more.

No.4 回答者： signak 回答日時： 2017/08/21 00:41

(So)I am (poor and)very sad. を入れると面白いかも。

No.3 回答者： signak 回答日時： 2017/08/20 16:50

大変良くできています。

余り直すところはありませんが、ちょっとしたアドバイスを。

I went to Kawasaki Lazona with my family (on August 7). とか日付を入れましょう
We watched a movie there. (The name of the movie was "〇〇".)題名を入れましょう
The movie was very interesting.
(Then) I went to a CD store.それからを入れましょう
I bought a lot of CDs (ar the store).
(X)I bought too much and my money has gone down.（量はmany)
(◯)I bought too many CDs, so my money has gone away.飛んでいったはgone away
I am very sad.
But it was fun.
It was good that I could make (a lot of)memories.
I want to go there once more.

もう少し高学年になったら、「I」 ばっかりでない文章の作り方も勉強しましょう。

この回答へのお礼

分かりやすいアドバイスありがとうございます！！
参考にさせていただきます！

お礼日時：2017/08/21 00:12

No.2 回答者： marbleshit 回答日時： 2017/08/17 22:20

I went to Kawasaki Lazona with my family.

We watched the movie there.
It was very interesting.
Then I went to the CD store.
And I bought a lot of CDs.
I bought too many and my money has gone away.
So I became sad but I had a lot of fun.
It was so good that I could make such memories.
So I want to go there once again.
These are my events in summer vacation this year.

この回答へのお礼

ありがとうございます！
助かりました！

お礼日時：2017/08/17 22:41

No.1 回答者： marbleshit 回答日時： 2017/08/17 21:38

I went to Kawasaki Lazona with my family. We watched the movie there and it was very interesting.

Then I went to the CD store and I bought a lot of CDs.
I bought too many and my money has gone away, so I became sad but I had a lot of fun.
It was so good that I could make such memories. So I want to go there once again.

この回答へのお礼

ありがとうございます！！
めっちゃ助かります！
10文以上の文で書かなきゃいけないんですが、、この文から増やすことは出来ますか？

お礼日時：2017/08/17 21:56