英作文の添削をおねがいします。 大きい都市と小さい町、あなたはどちらに住みたいですか？200字程度で

英作文の添削をおねがいします。
大きい都市と小さい町、あなたはどちらに住みたいですか？200字程度で答えなさい。
I want to live in the big city rather than small town, because I think more convenient living in the big city than living in small town. I'm live in small town now, I have a lot of problem. Living in it isn't convenient. For example, the trains don't come soon. I usually wait more 20 minutes to catch the trains. It makes me upstet. If I don't catch the train which I want to ride on, I have to wait more 40 minutes. It is very unconvenient. Also, going shopping is big event for me. The small town which I live in has the few stores, so if I wanted to buy the clothes, I have to use the car to go to the stores for 30 minutes.It is not easy for me to buy something. I believe if I would live in the big city,my life would be more comfortable than now. I won't have to wait 20 minutes to catch the train. And It will be easy to buy something. That is reason why I want to live in the big city.

No.1 ベストアンサー 回答者： ShowMeHow 回答日時： 2017/11/28 13:13

I want to live in a big city rather than a small town, because I think it is more convenient living in a big city than living in a small town. I'm living in a small town now, and I have a lot of problems. Life in a small town is not convenient. For an example, there aren't many trains on the route I take. I usually wait more than 20 minutes to catch a train. It makes me upset. If I miss the train, which I want to take, I have to wait another 40 minutes. It is very inconvenient. Also, going shopping is a big event for me. The small town which I live in has only few stores, so if I wanted to buy clothes I like, I have to drive for 30 minutes to go to the stores. It is not easy for me to buy something. I believe my life would be more comfortable than now, if I lived in a big city. I won't have to wait 20 minutes to catch the train, and it will be easy for me to buy something. That is the reason why I want to live in a big city.

できるだけ原文に忠実にproof read したつもりですが、、、
特に定冠詞に注意しましょう。　まあ、おいらも苦手だけどね。

この回答へのお礼

冠詞苦手です…（汗）解答例まで書いて下さり、ありがとうございました！

お礼日時：2017/11/28 16:33

No.2 回答者： mac_wack 回答日時： 2017/11/28 13:36

第1文でthinkの後の節にSVがないのは作文としてはやめたほうがいいでしょう。

続く第2文ではSV,SVという形になっているのは誤りで、andなどの接続詞が必要です。またproblemは可算名詞として使ってるので複数形に。第4文のthe trainsは特定の電車ではないのでtheはつけなくていいです。第五文のmoreはminutesの後ろにつけたほうがいいですね。第9文はbig eventは可算なので前にaが必要です。第10文はif節の中が先ほどは違っていたのに急に過去形にするのはよくないですね。またこの文の内容が書きたければIt takes 30minutes to go〜という構文を使ってみては。第12文のif節はif I lived in〜にするのが適切です。第13、14文は前の文との繋がりがイマイチなので前に接続詞や副詞が欲しいですね。最後の文はreasonが不可算名詞として使われているので誤り、ここでの理由という意味ならtheをつけるなりなんなりしましょう。

この回答へのお礼

なるほど！詳しくありがとうございます！理由もつけて下さったので凄く参考になりました！200字書くのはなかなか難しいですね…なんとか書きましたがやはり誤りがたくさん…(;ﾟдﾟ）受験までになんとか書けるようになります！ありがとうございました！

お礼日時：2017/11/28 16:30