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栄吾検2級の作文添削お願いします！；；添削だけでも良いのですが、もしわかる方が居たら点数も教えてくださった嬉しいです！

TOPIC
These days, many parents give their children smartphones or tablets to use. Do you think children should have these electronic devices?

I think children should have smartphones or tablets. First, if they use these electronic devices, they can study efficiently. For example, these electronic device can provide a good opportunity of studying because these election devices can use Internet that have many websites for studying.Second, it is convenient for children when they want to send a message for their parents. For instance, these erection devices have many communication apps. Therefore, they can send and receive messages any time and anywhere. In conclusion, I strongly agree with this opinion.

No.2 回答者： カニカマzumba 回答日時： 2024/01/08 16:03

I think children should have smartphones or tablets for two reasons.

First, if they use these electronic devices, they can study efficiently.

For example, these electronic device can provide a good opportunity of studying because they can use Internet that have many websites for studying.

Second, it is convenient for children when they send a message to their parents or friends.

For instance, these electronic devices have many communication apps
like "Line" and ""Instagram".　And they can send photos and movies
at once.

For these two reasons, children should have these electronic devices.

No.1 回答者： ShowMeHow 回答日時： 2024/01/08 15:35

途中からelection(選挙)やerection(勃起) になっているｗ