英文日記を添削してほしいです。

Yesterday, I talked with my Taiwanese friend by cellphone.
He is a doctor, he got a license of massage in those days.
He is very handsome, and he is very tall.
I said “I do not understand why you do not have a girlfriend.
Isn't there wonderful girls around you?”
He answered
“I am so busy my work every day,
I go home and my workplace only.
And my friends are strong-willed.
It’s on my treat every date.
And thay say that “Man should have a car and house.”
It is difficult for me to go out with them.”
I said “Oh my god.That's a shame.”
He said “Are you seeing anyone? You are so beautiful.”
My face became pink. Lol

昨日私は、台湾人の友達と電話で話しました。
彼は医師をしており、マッサージ師の資格も最近取得しました。
彼は、ハンサムで背も高いです。
私は「なぜあなたに彼女がいないのか不思議です。良い女の子いないの？」と言った。
彼は「僕は仕事が忙しく、毎日職場と家の、行ったり来たりです。そして私の友達は皆気が強い。デートは毎回奢り。そして、男は家と車を持つべきだと言っている。私にとって、彼女達と付き合うのは難しいです。」と答えた。
私は「わ～、それは残念ですね。」と言った。
彼は「あなたは彼氏いないの？美人ですよ」と、言った。
私は顔が、赤くなった。

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

①彼の事を話す際に、He is~で、短文になってしまいます。
続けて文章を書きたいのですが、良い方法ないかな？と
思っています。

②言った、や答えた、の表現が何か良い方法がないかなと考えております。
Say以外にも良い表現があれば教えて下さい。

No.2 ベストアンサー 回答者： hitumabusi2017 回答日時： 2018/06/22 00:47

by cellphone -> on the phone

he got -> he just got
a license of massage -> a license to massage
in those days -> recently
isn't there -> aren't there
"Man should" -> "A man should"

① 彼について語りたい内容がわからないのでなんとも言えないです。

② say あたりから少し書き直してみますね。

I told him I do not understand why he does not have a girlfriend. There must be wonderful girls around him.

According to him, he is busy with his work, and every day, all he does is go between his home and his workplace. Not only that, his female friends are very strong-willed and he has to pay for every date.
Apparently they tell him that a man should own a car and a house, so it's hard for him to date one of them.

So I told him what a shame that was.

He responded by asking if I were seeing anyone, and that I'm so beautiful.

I felt my face blush.


一番の注意事項は say の他の表現と言うより「彼は言った」の表現の使い方です。

日本語では実際にその人の言った台詞を入れますよね。

*　彼は「～～～」と言った。

けれど英語の場合は実際の台詞を入れることは稀です。

* He said that ～～～.

のような表現になります。基本的に台詞は使いません。

No.1 回答者： diolayzel2017 回答日時： 2018/06/22 00:02

Yesterday, I talked with my Taiwanese friend by cellphone. → on cellphone.

He is a doctor, he got a license of massage in those days.
→ ～ doctor, who got a masseur's license recently.

He is very handsome, and he is very tall. → He is very nice-looking and also very tall.

I said him “I do not understand why you do not have a girlfriend.
Isn't there wonderful girls around you?”
→ → I told him "I don't understand why you don't have any girlfriend."., asked him if there wasn't any wonderful lady around him.

He answered “I am so busy my work every day, I go home and my workplace only. And my friends are strong-willed. It’s on my treat every date.And thay say that “Man should have a car and house. It is difficult for me to go out with them.””
→ He answered "I'm so busy with my work everyday, just going to work and coming back home. And all of my girlfriends are strong-minded, and none of them would pay for the dates. They insist a man should have his own car and house. So, I'm not willing to go out with them."

I said “Oh my god.That's a shame.” → I uttered "Oh, what a pity!"

He said “Are you seeing anyone? You are so beautiful.” → He asked me "Do you have any special boyfriend? You are so beautiful."
My face became pink. Lol → I felt my face went red. So funny.