大学受験対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削よろしくお願いします。

大学受験対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削よろしくお願いします。

テーマは「あなたの故郷」についてです。

I was born and grew up in Fukui.

There are beautiful natural surroundings and not many people,shops and buildings.

However,I do love Fukui because there are my precious memories that for instance I played with my friend and talked with my family members in.

They have encouraged me to do new things or consoled me all the time.

When I call Fukui up ,I feel happy.


よろしくお願いします。

No.1 ベストアンサー 回答者： mabomk 回答日時： 2010/10/08 10:57

とても良く書けていると思います、一寸ばかり手直しするとすれば、

I was born and grew up in Fukui, which is in the middle part of Japan facing Sea of Japan. Though it is less populated and has fewer shops and buildings than other big cities have, Fukui has far more beautiful and natural surroundings. I do love my hometown Fukui. I still keep a lot of happy memories there with my friends and family member. I talked a lot of things with them, which encouraged me to start my new life. Whenever I recall anything about Fukui, I feel very happy.

この回答へのお礼

添削ありがとうございます。

mabomkさんの英文と自分の英文を見比べてみると、自分の英文がぎこちない文章だと感じます。

とても参考になりました。

これから何度か添削の依頼を投稿するので、暇なときでも添削してもらえるとありがたいです。

お礼日時：2010/10/08 20:16