次の英語の文章の間違いを文法的に説明して下さい

次の５つの英語の文章の間違いを、文法的に説明して下さい。添削指導するような感じで、丁寧に教えて頂けると幸いです。

問題は、「一億円の自由になるお金を持っていて、何か世界のためになることに寄付するとしたら、あなたはどのような団体に寄付したいと思うか。その理由と主に70語程度の英語で述べよ」というものです。

(1) I want to contribute one hundred millions yen to an organization which considers environment because I think that the earth is danger now. I wonder that it will be more danger in the coming generation. I want not to burden people to the future about the earth's environmental problem so much.

(2) I want to contribute to the International Red Cross Society, if I have one hundred million for free. Many people living in poverty in the world, so I think we should do something what we can do for them. For example, the student council of my high school gathers many plastic bottle caps, then sends to them to developing countries.

(3) I would contribute the money to building schools in indeveloped countries in Africa. Because I think the education in the youth play a very important role, and every child has the right to get an equal education. We get education as a matter of course, but in Africa many children can't. Kowing and learning something is interested, I want that they know a log of things of the world as to become international people.

(4) I will subscribe the money to international organizations that are providing foods for many children who are starving in the world. The reason is that I want to help them in any way, whenever I watch their terrible situations on TV. I don't want to see the sorrowful sights that children who are of an age with me or younger than me are suffering any more.

(5) If I had one hundred million yen, I would donate UNICEF. Because UNICEF contribute for poor children who live in the countries at war or in the devastated area by natural disasters. I cannot go there even if I had big money and was eager to provide them food and medical care, because it is very dangerous for me. So, I will donate UNICEF which help them by various ways.

よろしくお願いいたします。

No.1 回答者： momomo_338 回答日時： 2012/12/14 16:40

(1) I think that the earth is danger now.

↓
I think the earth is in danger now.

that が口説いかも。あと、地球が危なくて着陸できない惑星のようなイメージを受けました。in danger の方が自然です。



the earth's environmental problem so much.
↓
the environmental problems of the earth are too much.

構文の前部に強調したいことを持っていきます。
環境問題は多々あるので、複数形を使用します。
so much よりも、 too much のが、多すぎる！の印象が強いのでベターです。




Many people living in poverty in the world, so I think we should do something what we can do for them.
↓
As there's huge amount of people who's suffering of poverty, I think we should do something what,,,

動詞がどこにもないようです。There'sを付けた方がよろしいと思います。
もしもMany peopleではじめるなら、以下のように動詞を配置すればOKです。
例：Many people living in poverty　→　is waiting for our help.




indeveloped countries in Africa.
↓
underdeveloped countries in Africa (continent).

個人的には大陸を付けた方がイメージがわきやすいのでcontinent.




Kowing and learning something is interested
↓
Knowing and learning something is interesting

受身の構文だと、知ること学ぶことに対して誰が関心を持ってるの？って疑問がわいちゃいます。
学習に関してあなた自身が興味深いよ！おすすめだよ！って思うなら、interesting.
シンプルに、interestingで。




I want that they know a log of things of the world as to become international people.
↓
I want them to know a lot of things of the world so that they can become international people.

例えば誰かに医者になってほしい時、「I want you to be a doctor.」って言いますよね。それをそのまま流用したほうがわかりやすいですよ。

So that canのがベターです。以下例文です。
Could you give me that screw driver so that I can fix the window.
私が窓の修理をできるよう、あそこにあるスクリュードライバーを貸して頂けませんか？
I give you some money so that you can buy some stuffs.
あなたが買い物できるよう、ちょっとお金をあげるよ。




The reason is that I want to help them in any way, whenever I watch their terrible situations on TV
↓
The reason is that whenever I watch their terrible situations on TV, I wish I could help them.

毎回いつでもテレビを見るたびに、あの人たちを助けられたらなーって思うなら下の文章のがベターです。



ほかの方のアンサーも参考に、一番自分が読みやすい文章を作りましょう（＾Ｏ＾　）

この回答へのお礼

どうもありがとうございました。

お礼日時：2012/12/18 07:08