英作文のチェックお願いします

Individualism and collectivism use a different way of explaining themselves.
I agree with your idea that Individualistic cultures tend to focus on the "I", whereas collectivistic cultures tend to focus on "we". I also glad to know that Coming to the school was the best choice you made so far in your life. You came from collectivistic place, but you are studying in the United States that is individualistic country. Fortunately, you can get to see both individualism and collectivism. He also came from collectivistic county, but he also sees individualistic country in the USA. he really happy to see the both aspect of which.

No.1 ベストアンサー 回答者： Him-hymn 回答日時： 2014/11/15 21:26

添削

出だしの文が意味不明で添削しようがありません。
We use individualism and collectivism in different ways.だとしても、その先の文とつながらないように思います。

I agree with your idea that people in ndividualistic cultures tend to focus on the word "I", whereas those in collectivistic cultures tend to focus on the word "we". I am also glad to know when you said that coming to this school was the best choice you made so far in your life. You came from a place where people believe in collectivism, but you are studying in the United States, which is an individualistic country. Fortunately, you get to see both individualism and collectivism.

以下の文もいきなりheが登場して意味不明です。古めかしい一般論のa personの意味のheでしょうか？そうだとしたら、死語です。それは。
He also came from collectivistic county, but he also sees individualistic country in the USA. he really happy to see the both aspect of which.

heを一般論とするなら、peopleぐらいがいいでしょう。
People who come from a collectivistic country and who live in an individualistic country like the U.S.A. are very fortunate as they can see from either standpoint of view.

なお、collectivisticは直しませんでしたが、people from collective communityとかvillageとかがいいとは思います。

以上、ご参考になればと思います。